Recount writing - A Memorable Moment

Over the past 5 weeks we have been working on recounts in writing. Together we came up with 6 success criteria to meet in order to achieve our Learning Intention. The task was to recount a memorable moment in our lives so far. We brainstormed hilarious/embarrassing/scary/magical/pivotal moments in our lives and chose one to write about. 

Learning Intention:	We are learning to recount a memorable moment to entertain our reader.
Success Criteria: We will know we are successful when we have:	* Used a variety of ways to keep the reader interested * Used descriptive language and language features to paint a picture       in the reader’s mind * Kept the writing focussed on the event/s * Structured the writing correctly * Used the past tense * Checked our surface features are in order

Read a couple below by Michael and James dG or visit individual student blogs to read others.

 My recount of a memorable moment

SPLAT!! iT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. A big lump of warm gooey bird POO landed on my head (gross). My lunch nearly came back up. I said “OMG  what do i do” in my head. I think the bird  must have had a good time ?

  

It happened when I was about 4 and I was sitting under a big oak tree at daycare with Adam, Sean and Jack.. We had just had our lunch.  We had noticed the birds squawking.

After the annoying  bird pooped on me I looked around and everyone was looking at me. I went bright red in the face. Suddenly out of nowhere, another bird poo nearly landed on my shoulder!  I jumped up and everyone started  laughing at me.

I felt  embarrassed because I knew that I had to wipe it up and the smell... it Stank  , I mean really stank,  but I knew it would give me luck so I smiled for the whole day.And thats what happened the staff let me go to see my sister Brenna when she was  little when it was her birthday . It was very fun.

It was the best day ever and knew that bird poop was lucky so i went home and had a good night. The next day is a long story….

By Michael

The Alpaca Incident

Kuppow! It felt as if I had been smacked hard in the face. And when I realised what had happened my stomach started to churn with disgust and repugnance.

I was at an Alpaca farm just across the road from my house. It was always a pleasure to go there with my family but on this expedition I encountered more than just a relaxing day out as you will soon see.

Soon me and my family came across the first of the alpacas munching politely on the supple healthy grass around the paddock. They were fascinating. Their long majestic necks leading on to a pointed snout and two large velvety ears. They chewed carefully as if every blade was precious enjoying their food in a quiet and behaved manner. As they ate their fur swayed slightly under their bellies as if they wore chunky natural coats. They were a little smaller than a horse and had wool softer and more comfortable by far than any sheep.

The sun felt gorgeous on my back as I crossed from paddock to paddock looking with interest at each and every animal in the place. The light frost refreshed my body keeping my body temperature to the perfect degree, this was an ideal morning to be out and about.

Soon I saw an alpaca that seemed to be more tame than the others. It stood confidently next to the fence watching us curiously with its miniature unblinking eyes. I came casually closer step by step. But still it stood like a statue of stone not at the least affected by my presence like the others in the field. I quickened my pace making brisk jolts in front of it but still his body didn’t flinch.

“Look at this dad” I yelled as I lurched at it again and again.

At that moment the alpaca suddenly decided to take revenge and deliberately with a sickening belch he spewed a powerful mass of vomit, spit and some half digested grass straight, bang on, in my face. It smacked me with such force that it propelled me back a few steps and, for like eternity, I just stood there, unable to believe what had just happened to me. Then out of embarrassment and shock I began to cry. As you would have expected my brothers started to snigger noisily about the event as dad started to clean up the mess.

And now because of that horrible happening I’ve never mocked an alpaca again, ever! They are more intelligent than they look, trust me.

By James